Curb Yourself
No One Else Can Do It For You
THE PARENTING GUIDE : CHAPTER 5
What Makes A Healthy Parent?
Before looking to change anyone else, we first need to take a long and honest look in the mirror. Who are you? How do you compare to whom you’d like to be? How well maintained are you? Honest answers to these questions should give us enough perspective to approach our subject with sensitivity, understanding and compassion.
Correcting Ourselves
Identifying both our challenges and super powers can light the way to the most essential corrections to our own character. Actualizing those changes will only push us forward. The GOOD PUPPY Innerchi Super Power Cards can be a meditation tool for self-illumination for children and parents alike.
EXERCISING HEALTHY PARENTING
WHO ARE YOU?
Meditate Before You Answer
Most people will jump to answer this question with a name, which was chosen for them, a last name, usually inherited, followed by an occupation or corporate title. This type of external self-identification is a common cause for identity crisis.
Know Yourself
Knowing who we are can liberate us from our illusory cages. Discovering our passions and overcoming our fears to seek out our purpose in life, can update old and limiting programming. Opening our minds brings new and deeper understandings about ourselves and the world around us.
Once our view is amplified and we can see further, we learn to discern and seize challenges, instead of avoiding them as obstacles. We learn to make decisions in accord with ourselves, with who we truly are. We learn to take responsibility for our actions and our choices, because it liberates us and makes us stronger.
People who would rather blame others for their situations, choose to be martyrs; passively giving away all of their power to feed the ego’s craving for an illusion of safety. The only one who can save the martyr is the martyr himself. First, by assuming responsibility for the situation, second, by taking control and changing the situation. Knowing that we can to do this empowers us to act; and in our actions we find out who we really are.
GOOD PUPPY Child Cognitive Behavioral Tools empower self-knowledge through personality awareness, understanding emotions and welcoming challenges as opportunities to explore our virtues.
THE LAW OF RELATIVITY
Who You Are Is Relative To Whom Your Relatives Are
A child’s personality is only part of the equation. Parent’s personalities are already formed and set in their ways; not to mention stronger and imposing by the nature of the relationship and age gap.
And The Judge Will Be…
Children’s personalities are judged from the parent’s perspective and in most cases both parents will not agree. Each parent comes with their own set of measurements and standards.
If one parent is an introvert and the other an extrovert, they will be judging their children from opposite platforms. Their introverted child might seem normal to the introverted parent and lethargic to the extroverted parent. While the extroverted child, will be deemed normal by the extroverted parent and hyperactive by the introverted parent.
Everything we notice, we compare to what we know and to ourselves. It is that comparison that forms our final judgments. Objectivity is impossible to achieve from a single perspective.
Letting children be who they are should be the priority. Teaching them to relate well to others, adapt to society and follow their hearts, always keeping true to themselves.
GOOD PUPPY Child Cognitive Behavioral Tools help both children and parents understand personalities, in order to improve communication, curb expectations, discover talents, understand limitations and promote an empathetic code of ethics.
THE SELF-CLEANING PARENT
It Is Responsible To Take Time To Relax
A good parent is a healthy parent. A healthy parent uses coping mechanisms to balance and reboot. Making time for oneself is easier once you understand its benefits. It isn’t only the parent, but the entire family benefits from relaxed, healthy parents.
It Isn’t Selfish To Tune Up
Parents tend to suffer from guilt at the thought of putting themselves and their needs ahead of the family. They forget that their stress levels affect the dynamics of the entire household.
Children are very aware of their parent’s stress levels. They feel it in every attitude and every answer. They may not understand it, but they do perceive it clearly. Since children mimic and stressed people create stressing situations, behavioral problems will quickly manifest in children of stressed parents.
Understanding that a healthy mind and stress reduction betters the dynamics of the entire family should be reason enough to let go of guilt and learn to set some time aside for a good rebooting. Whether you choose to meditate, walk, jog, run or disappear in a good book and a cup of hot coco, dedicating that time to yourself without guilt is what’s important. Enjoying time alone will also build a parent’s self-esteem and self-confidence and since children mimic… confident children is what you’ll get!
GOOD PUPPY Child Cognitive Behavioral Tools can help even parents figure out when they need a tune up. Just check out an Emotions Chart and let Roger help you figure out where you stand.
Gabriel Tito, LMFM
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy
Bachelors in Clinical Psychology
Certified Family Mediator
Certified Parenting Coordinator
Drums & Percussion Therapy Coach
English . Spanish . Portuguese
